Dumb Blonde’s Birthday Present for You

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life? “ Mary Oliver

(a long time ago…..Janet and Miss Clairol Made Me Blonde and many years later, some wonderful hair stylists did the same)

Janet and Ann


It’s my birthday week.  And the answer to Mary Oliver’s query is in a Kindle book because I wrote  slice of life  stories that reflect what I did with this life.   This age brings with it a certain shade of  ‘Oh, so that’s what Left Turn at Albuquerque means’ . Discover with me what was found.

I want to give you a present.   For 5 days starting Sunday March 3 I am giving away my Kindle Book collection of  Slice of Life stories.  No charge for 5 days.

If you care to I would love this in return: suggest a title based on what you find.  My current title I’ve been told is not so good. And based on lack of sales I agree if the goal is selling.  Yes, it is. (I was thinking of  “Exiting the Quantum Fog”  based on the story entitled The Quantum Fog of Possibility I have in the collection.  But  a few nixed that. I’m open to anything.)

If anyone who reads it has an idea, and wants to share, thanks!  email me at annbradley@gmail.com

The book can be found here: Dumb Blonde Dishes Dirt and Discourses

The free promotion starts the 3rd of March and lasts for 5 days.   THANK YOU…and if you don’t have title suggestion I will happily take critical reviews (ok, maybe not happily, but send anyway. )  And if you like it, wow…thanks, glad you do.

Why Dumb Blonde?    Is it an insult?     FIND OUT  (first story in the book)

Here’s a sample of  what you will find in these slice of life stories:

               1. Cooking the Cosmic Books

               2. Evolution, Big Breasts and the Pursuit of Happiness
                        (why men really like big breasts.)

               3. Napping With the Koalas

               4. My Neurons Make Me Do It

             5. Nikki Sixx and The Methadone Diaries  (Nikki Sixx of                  Motley Crue faked his New York Times bestseller The Heroin Diaries) 
               6. Who Killed Jane Stanford? (was it The President of Stanford?)

               7. Under the Rock A Goddess Grows

               8. Where is My Support Group?

9.  Shelter From the Norm

                10. The Collaborative Law God and Code Condom

11. A Long Walk for a Lost Mother

12. The Alchemy of Failure

13. Design-A-Kid

random quote from one story:  If you find yourself in my writings and you find me unmasking a story, a lie, a need for glory at someone’s expense, a use of power to get your way, don’t blame the messenger – my neurons made me do it.


Here are 2 sample stories from the book (which tells you nothing about the collection as a whole but my neurons made me choose them).

1.                             MAKING EYE CANDY

She’s seven and she lives in Pink Land.  That’s  cotton candy little girl Pink Land.

They say what determines if a little girl lives in Pink Land is her mother.  Some girls haven’t got a clue what Pink Land is because Mom doesn’t give a damn about it.   Mom, you can let her visit Pink Land but you have to get her out.  The price of living in Pink Land is high.

In Pink Land,  the land of fluff and cute,  girls learn bodies are for adorning, primping, preening, objectifying and sexualizing.  Little girl Pink Land doesn’t stay that way.  It morphs into a deeper pink of silk thongs and black lace.  By the time she is ten she’s there.

If you think pink and she thinks pink and she worries if her butt is fat at seven she might be giving blow jobs by twelve.  Think there is no connection?  Play connect a dots and you get there: “Oh, you are so cute in that outfit.  Oh this looks so good on you.  Your hair is beautiful, let’s get your nails done.” And when she wants to be wanted, what does she have to give?  Not much except her body which is all she knows. Her personality subsumed under years of lip gloss and blush, she gives what she has been trained to use.

When you think pink and sexualize her, do not be surprised when she follows your cue.  Underneath the “isn’t she cute?” of adoring mothers is a budding hottie. Hips askew, hand behind head, and carrying a designer purse, she’s learning how to use her body and get rewarded. Hair fixation of mothers leads to hair fixation of daughter. Designer duds may look great, but a whining bitchy 12 year old who has to shop at Target is not.  “I will NOT shop there. It’s gross. I’ll die.”


Mom doesn’t know where the bitch came from. She grew in the process called self-objectification that describes a girl who sees herself through other’s eyes and seeks outside validation. Unable to give it to herself she is validated when a boy wants what she has to give.

The American Psychological Association recently issued a report called The Sexualization of American Girls and the findings are disturbing. Strongly disturbing. The result of the social, cultural and parental emphasis on looks is not minor: low self-esteem, eating disorders, and depression. The rate of completed suicides of teen girls has never been higher.

The antidote is clear: social connections, community connections, athletics, and academics.  Girls who are into sports learn to use their bodies to be powerful. They are less depressed and have higher grades.

Think before you pink.  Dead is not cute.


2.            And the Award Goes To……..

Wouldn’t it be great if life were like a game?  It wouldn’t be hard to feel great if we were the star quarterback –  where we’re always winning and the crowds are cheering us on, the coach is always proud of us and cheerleaders shout our name.   But we don’t  have a life like this so we become our own cheerleaders and find the guts and glory within ourselves to keep on going whether we get the ball to thegoal or not.

But this isn’t always easy and many can’t get there.  Some people can’t make it out of bed in the morning when things don’t go right,  some make a half-hearted attempt and wonder why they don’t get what they want.  Some rise to the occasion once and never again.  But sometimes you meet that rare individual that is born with a gusto for life; who gets the dregs of a situation and wonders how many ways there are to figure out how to make it whole again.  This person doesn’t always realize it but she speaks the language of success.  Her words propel her to things that others say can’t be done.  Her vocabulary is studded with metaphors of winning and if ever she stumbles she doesn’t worry, she does a mental juggling act and an automatic edit and rewrite kicks in.   Her audience forgets she isn’t wealthy or well known because she doesn’t care about that.  Her friends are her team, her struggle is a battle she will win, her “what if’s” become strategy and what she doesn’t know becomes a challenge not a problem.  Watching her in action is like watching the waves roll backward – you don’t quite know what you are seeing and it is unexpected.

Far too many live without being transformational.  They have no power to change the people around them or circumstances.  They cede their powers and leave it up to fate.  There is a hesitancy about them and a sense the lights of their life are less electric than others.

But in a small apartment in Dallas lives a woman who not only stars in the game of life, she has cheerleaders and fans and she shows them how to live life grandly and big and grab it and find their lights and power.   She is visible and confident and fearless and we think, “If she can, we can.”  And wherever you meet someone like that, hold on to her because forces of nature should not be tamed; the penalties are fearsome.  And you say, if Janay can dream it, we will be there for her.

Dumb Blond only has one Brunette Award.  I am happy to award this year’s Brunette of the Year to a woman who can make judges weep and lawyers tremble, who punishes the bad and rewards the good with her enthusiasm.  For inspiring others to go on and star in their own games and helps them play the game of life as winners.

And most of all, because she is a resting place, a nesting place,  for a little girl who is on a journey home.  To  JBR,  the highest honor from the world of blonds: Brunette of the Year.


**********More of Me***************

you can also find me on




www.eGameworld.com (for sale)


Pushing the envelope here a bit…decided to put an ad here…this is for another book I’ve written. It’s more like a Guide than a book: just 37 pages.  ($10.95)

(I’d rather the title suggestion  than this sale, but if you like it, go ahead and buy and TY)

This is an instruction manual for

  •  do-overs,
  •  living a good life,
  •  men,
  •  kids,
  •  power words,
  •  how to live without fear,
  •  how to keep your eye on the goal
  •  and your daughter away from bikini waxes

If you’ve ever had a bad relationship or felt life hasn’t been the one you wanted,  or think, “it’s time for me!”,  there’s no time like the present for a little do-over in life.   If you’ve heard enough dumb blonde jokes or other put-downs,  RECLAIM LIFE and have a ball!   Whether you are 25 or 75, it’s never too late to have some fun and change the program.  These are a few of my favorite things…for all blondes, brunettes and redheads, real or otherwise.

It’s The (NOT SO ) Dumb Blonde’s Instruction Manual for a Good Life

…. full of cut to the chase, no nonsense, witty tips and research, ( get inside a man’s brain!)  It’s fun and funny and real.



(Not so) dumb blondes do not live where wedding dresses cost more than
a down payment; where men promise, “I’ll take care of you forever”; where
sex and aromatherapy candles are pair bonded; and think that anyone
cares how many threads are in your sheets.  If this is what you think happiness
is, you are as delusional as any schizophrenic talking to the voices in his head.  Leave.

The tickets are free up until divorce; after that you pay a premium. 


Men’s brains are 11% larger in the anger and sex drive areas.


My First Lesson


As a woman and a life-long blonde, from baby to bottle, I’ve had to put up with a
lot of stereotypes.

My consciousness was raised when I was eighteen and between my first and
second year at the University of Pennsylvania.  I took a summer class – a
graduate seminar – in American Studies and was the only female in our
small group.  I was also the only one who enjoyed Jonathan Edward’s
sermons and discussing Puritanism. The stories of the sermons were
fascinating – I loved how they were used to get the point across.  It didn’t rub off
on me because within 3 months I was pregnant, but that’s a horse of another
color (he was brunette).  Lesson – it’s possible to have a hot sex life with a recent
law school grad and still enjoy the theatre of the mind, – oh yea, and have a baby
in the middle of college. Back to the seminar – I got all A’s in papers, class
discussion and exams. I was shocked when I got a B.

Fast forward a few months to a conversation with my father, a doctor. He told
me a patient of his was surprised to learn I was his daughter and if he had
known, “I would have given her the ‘A’ she deserved. She was the best and
brightest there. I didn’t because every other student needed an A – they needed
them for grad schools and well, they were men.”

I just got angry again revisiting that bit of chauvinistic crap that really is a part of
American Culture. So, University of Pennsylvania, if you want to go back and
change my grade, I’ll take it.

You were made for Power Guide for Women. Go here: POWER GUIDE

Life is short, one life, one time, what are you waiting for?
order it now

In 37 pages and for only $10.95 you can have

The (Not So) Dumb Blonde’s Instruction Manual for a Good Life